Lessons from My Abroad Adventure

Recently, I traveled abroad and made some interesting discoveries. To clarify, I've traveled internationally before, mostly to Spanish-speaking or South American countries, since I am Hispanic and fluent in Spanish. I hadn't realized how narrow-minded that was until I visited my first Non Spanish speaking country. Traveling abroad, whether for leisure or business, is significant! I grew up in a diverse state, New York, yet I still faced many challenges. Overall, it was a fun trip.

I experienced what it's like to be a foreigner in a country where I knew very little about the culture, customs, language, and traffic laws. I also encountered tourist traps. But that's okay, because now I've learned and can share my experience with you! The most important lesson I learned is that not everything revolves around you. I know that sounds a bit narcissistic, but hear me out.

I traveled with my partner, who is Afro Caribbean. He was one of only 196 Black people we saw in this country after a week. Fortunately, I appeared similar or "acceptable" to the locals. The key lesson my husband, Dimitri, taught me was how to handle things. Growing up in New York, with its high diversity, you see people of different religions, cultural backgrounds, and gender identities. We're fortunate to be in the state and country we're in now. Dimitri faced some racism like being stared at because he looked different. I watched people approach him and laugh while he relaxed at a hot springs. I didn't experience such treatment; my only issue was being yelled at for accidentally approaching a castle I thought was a tourist spot. Aside from that, I was treated respectfully.

Dimitri taught me that despite history's injustices against people like him, he has persevered. In his words, "You can't worry about what people do to you or how they treat you, especially when they stare and point, or try to make you feel uncomfortable for simply existing." I was upset for him and developed minor tactics to stop the stares. This felt similar to how Black people were historically treated, and the sad part is that we visited a country that continues such behaviors. Everywhere we went, people stared at him, including in fancy restaurants, where it seemed like they paused their lives to stare, point, and make him feel unwelcome. Dimitri was aware of the stares. Did he care? Not at all, it didn't affect his day. This taught me about his confidence and another lesson.

I learned to adapt to the fast-paced mannerisms of this country, where people push past each other without apologizing, which some find rude. New Yorkers have been called rude for similar behavior. This was easy for me to handle, and I too became a pusher. If you asked a simple question, people were bothered because you inconvenienced them, responding with rude tones, much like New York. I realized how blessed I am to have grown up in a diverse place like New York, where such things are often overlooked.

This country preserved its history well, with signs in the original language. Many people didn't speak English, which requires courage, similar to many immigrants who move to the States. Some aren't welcomed, some don't speak English, but they persevere.

I believe it takes an open-minded person to understand situations and context clues to get by. Living in New York, hearing different languages, I developed a love for linguistics. I enjoy hearing accents and pinpointing where someone grew up. In America, even though I don't have an accent, some people still hear one, which can come across as racially ignorant. How do you not understand what I'm saying? After all, I'm speaking the same language, English.

My ears have become sensitive to breaking down words to their root or understanding what people say from the Spanish vocabulary I know. I was also fascinated with the Latin language as a child, and being a Spanish speaker opened up understanding Latin and Spanish, as many words overlap. So yes, I spoke Italian, read Latin, and even without knowing the language, I held conversations. I highly encourage my readers to explore. Visit that country, that state, take that road trip, take that challenging job across the country, challenge yourself, and see how much you grow, both internally and externally.

Did the pushing bother me? Yes, at first... Until I realized it wasn't targeted at me. I looked like everyone else, so it wasn't about me or Dimitri; they weren't pushing us because of us, but because it's their culture! They even pushed each other, so much so that I started enjoying being pushed aside. If I can be open-minded to new experiences like this, I think you can too. From my experience with Dimitri, never let anyone or any situation have that much control over you. Enjoy yourself; people will be how they are, and there's no changing them. On the plane back, a woman in the middle seat took up so much space that her arm was in my seat, invading my personal space. And guess what, she spilled a full 12 oz cup of water on me and my belongings. It didn't bother me anymore, not even when she reached over to grab my napkins, my food, and help clean me up. Who knows, maybe personal space isn't a thing in her culture either.

Another thing I learned is that the world doesn't stop. Yes, I was in the future, but projects I'm involved in continued to have last-minute meetings. Literally messaging me the day before for a meeting the next day. I was abroad, in a different time zone, with no Wi-Fi. It didn't matter that I informed my business associates of my situation. After all, I work hard to get where I am, and I'm entitled to an educational vacation! Which is why, as a people pleaser, you have to remember to please yourself and never feel bad for being selfish. While I'm open to collaborating, I've learned why it's important to open your own doors, no matter how terrified you are. The world will keep moving. Will you move with it or be left behind?

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